What will they think of next? Reasoning that inebriated male patrons of a bar or restaurant will use a urinal one last time before driving home, New Mexico officials have begun placing talking urinal-deodorizer cakes in the men’s restrooms of those establishments. While a man is using the urinal, a motion-sensitive plastic device activates the flirty and then stern voice of a woman who says, “Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home.” Finally, the message concludes by saying, “Remember, your future is in your hand.” Understanding that most men standing at a urinal will stare straight ahead and avoid talking to others, a spokesman for the New Mexico Transportation Department said that moment of silence at the urinal is an opportune time to get the message across.
When using a urinal, men sometimes find that an awkward silence does permeate the atmosphere, mainly because manly men usually don’t talk while using a urinal or look around for fear of appearing too “friendly” with the other urinal occupants. That reminds me of an amusing incident that occurred in a restroom. I went into the restroom of a restaurant with a couple of buddies to use the urinals. Suddenly, two men who were obviously identical twins walked in and also began using the other available urinals. I looked around and wittily said, “Hey, have you noticed? We have a winning hand here - three of a kind and a pair. That’s a full house!” At that moment, we heard a toilet flush and a man’s voice emanating from a stall that said, “Sorry, guys. You lose! A straight flush beats a full house every time.” We started laughing so hard that I thought we all were going to have to use the stalls.
But I digress. Back to the talking urinal-deodorizer cakes. Can you see other possibilities there? Advertisers could use the two to three minutes of silence at the urinal to pitch their products. For example, an appropriate message might be addressed to men with prostate problems or an overactive bladder: “Do you have to get up several times during the night to urinate? Use Brand X for relief.” Political candidates could get out the vote with the following message: “Are you pissed off with the representation you are getting from Mayor X? Vote for Candidate Y and I will flush out the corruption in our government.”
What other possibilities can you think of for a talking urinal-deodorizer cake?
Video: A high-tech urinal liner warns against drunk driving; it also delivers ads.
Video: Male Restroom Etiquette
Video: Dealing With Long Lines at Women's Restrooms
As we begin the New Year, it is time once again to take stock of what is truly important in our lives. A “measure” is how much there is of something that you can quantify. We live in a time-space continuum. Time is composed of moments, which we may or may not be able to manipulate. Space is the physical matter that exists between voids, whether we speak of stars or electrons and neutrons circling nuclei. A continuum is what holds it all together. Thus, our whole existence takes place in a time-space continuum.
Then what are the truly important things in our lives that we cannot physically measure? I offer here some possibilities:
Where is the element of symmetry in a human soul?
Where is the isotropy of God?
What are the dimensions of truth?
How do you measure the magic of music on the mind and the soul of being?
What is the reference point for feelings, such as the capacity to feel empathy and compassion and love?
Where can you stand when you try to measure “happiness?”
What are the parameters of love--a child’s love for a toy vs. an adult’s love for God?
Where is the point of fulcrum between justice and injustice?
How do you measure success--by your wealth or by your health, by your job or by your marriage, by your social status or by your family, by the things you love or by the things you hate?
As we continue this journey through the time-space continuum for another year, let us ask ourselves these questions, and try to remember what is truly important in our lives--the things that we cannot physically measure.
Video: Through education, media, and big business, your mind is being controlled. Your mind is distracted with illusions to keep you away from the truth. Why is our nation being dumbed down?
Using fear and the threat of insecurity to manipulate the people, corporate media, in bed with government, over the years having become the mouthpiece of government control, unleashes a barrage of propaganda, in images and pro-war commentators, to arouse in the population the false sense of security that justifies military action. This way, debate is silenced and dissent is disappeared on the airwaves as once again the corporate media, the gatekeepers of information, allow us only to see and hear the point of view they want us to incorporate into our psyche. Voices of reason and of intelligence are ignored, banished from imparting important thoughts of wisdom, thus making it virtually impossible for the population to ever know there are other options besides the horror of war.
With corporate anchors, journalists, reporters, commentators and executives pushing into our homes an exclusively pro-war, jingoistic viewpoint, blitzkrieging us with their propaganda-laced images and opinion, over months of constant threats of fear and insecurity, denying the public from ever seeing or hearing truths and realities, it therefore becomes rather easy, with a population addicted to television viewing, to mobilize a nation for war. With the marriage of government and corporate power, truth disappears just as much as falsity prospers. With both entities profiting from the spoils of war, it is in each other's best interest to work together to disseminate the seeds that will invariably spawn the rebirth of a dormant war culture.
Once again the system is at work, knowing how easy it is to control the minds of a dumbed down population that has been well trained, and some might say socially engineered, to never question authority, never think outside the box, never seek accountability and never think for itself. Easily manipulated, millions of people are conditioned to believe, from a very early age, that anything emanating from television is sacrosanct. Thus, everything they watch is reality and anything they hear is truth. Anchors and reporters become trusted personalities voicing reticent opinions whose veracity are seldom, if ever, questioned.
It is designed to manipulate and control at once, transforming the population into a sedentary herd of sheeple who never question what is told them. Over the years millions of citizens have used this most dangerous drug to escape lives of frustration, unhappiness, desperation, depression and loneliness, never realizing that with every hour they watch, with every show they are glued to, with every channel they surf their minds are turned to mush, becoming conduits of ignorance, molded into muscles in desperate need of gossip and sensationalism, no longer thinking for itself.
The Establishment has perfected its machination of propaganda, creating the realities it wants into society, forming whatever truth that will be of the greatest benefit, not to society, but to itself. Whatever reality it wants to create and disseminate is quickly absorbed by a population eager to feed off the mammary glands of television. The Establishment, the corporate world and government have for years told us how and what to think, how to act, who to obey and where to follow, condemning our minds to obedience, our lives to conformism and silent acquiescence.
Perhaps you have heard of the man in his nineties who quit smoking cigarettes after eighty years of smoking them because, as he said, “I don’t think they are good for you.” Of course, we all know that is true; and that is why so many smokers try to use a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking.
Mark Twain once said, “Quitting smoking is easy; I have done it many times.” I am sure that there are many people who have had the experience of quitting smoking for a short time, only to take it up again.
One time, after ceasing smoking for seven months, I was on vacation at my brother’s home. He was a smoker, and every time he offered me a cigarette, I would resolutely reply that I had quit smoking. One time, after I had imbibed a bit he said, “Oh, come on, you’re on vacation. Enjoy yourself.”
Ten years later, I decided it was time to quit smoking again. Now I know that Mark Twain was right, except that quitting smoking is not easy and it is better if you do it only once.
The next time I made the decision to quit smoking, I psyched myself up for about three weeks before New Year’s Eve, concentrating on the reasons why I should quit smoking: the expense, my health, the spot I burned in the new sofa, the hazard of starting a house fire, the danger of smoking while driving, and the effect of second-hand smoke upon my wife, a non-smoker. I then decided I would use that date to stop smoking for the rest of my life. So at 11:59:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve quite a few years ago, I lit up a cigarette, exhaled all the way, took a long drag, burning the cigarette paper almost down to my lips and inhaled the smoke deep down into my lungs, all the way down to my toes. Coughing profusely, I stuttered, “That is the last cigarette I will ever smoke.” And it was and will be.
Giving up smoking “cold turkey” is not easy. Those usual times I wanted a cigarette - after eating, before retiring, upon awakening, with the morning coffee, and around other smokers was admittedly a difficult time. For about the first week, every time I wanted a cigarette, I would push a stick of gum into my mouth and chew it. After about a week, the old habit subsided to the point that I no longer felt an urgent need for a cigarette.
But now I am addicted to gum chewing. I guess it’s about time for another New Year’s Resolution.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Video: Making New Year's Resolutions for 2008
Video: Democratic candidates share their resolutions for the new year.
I was inspired to write this post by DeBunkem’s blog in which he discussed how people choose the names for their blogs. After compiling a list of some of the blog titles on Blogstream, I tried to write a humorous comment related to the name of each title. This is all done in fun; if I have offended anyone, please accept my apology.
Name of Blog/ Comments__________________________________________
Mr. Furious/ Needs anger management counseling. My Rants and Raves/ You’re off your medication again, aren’t you? gjwlegs/ I don't know what it is, but it has legs. My Intimate Secrets/ Don't tell anyone else. Momma Never Told Me/ And now I’m pregnant.
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly/ I'll take the good. You can have the bad and the ugly. Kaboodle/ Where is the kit? I want it all or nothing. Getting Sober/ Remember that on New Year's Eve. The Prophetic Trumpet/ Needs to take more music lessons. Emergency Insanity/ It’s nice to know it’s there when you need it.
Fighting Females Martial Arts/ I am staying away from you guys. extesy its about life/ I thought it was about spelling. The Vessel/ Don’t get excited. You don’t want to pop one (a blood vessel, that is). The Valkyrie (the Sword of Justice)/ Hmmm. A female Zorro. The Toadie/ Isn’t that the name of a computer virus that was a problem in 1999? What happened? And when?/ What is this--a history class?
Coloconnect/Not Colocollect? Life With Schnauzers/ Where is my super-dooper pooper scooper? Big Chief’s Smoke Signals/ Hey, Big Chief, get a cellular phone Mokie Joe/ Sounds like something you would order at Starbucks: “I’ll have a Mokie Joe, please.” Scratch/ Tell me where.
Mr. Right Opinion/ Am I being judged? The Peever/ We had better leave it at that. Icemelts/ Aren’t you concerned about global warming? Lady Lee/ Isn’t that a store brand? Theology for Dummies/ I didn't say it; you did.
SrWilliam/ Meet Sr. Paul McCartney. Dazey/ Time for your nightzey. Wee Davie/ Weighs 310 lbs. What I Cooked for Dinner/ ”Mommy, have you seen the pet parrot I got for Christmas?” wayfarer/ Always the poor stranger.
Ron Ting Wright/ But can you do two tings right? Belle/ Where’s Rhett? BeBop/ Hey, man, Where be de next gig ya’ beatians gots located? i am pie/ What kind? johnnie/ Heeeeeerrrrrrssss johnnie.
Stealtharachnid/ Quick! Where’s that can of RAID? john 24871/ John 3:16 hoodo/ Who don’t? CountrySquire/ Needs to get to the city more often. mamamiah/ That’s amore.
Keltic-Hawkeye/ Needs glasses, and "poops through his feathers." RoieVanBib/ Only when I eat soup. The Adventures of Bipolar Girl/ Just like the adventures of my "bipolar" stocks last year--up and down, up and down--mostly down. DeBunkem/ Some say history is DeBunkem, but DeBunkem is not history. puzzled/ Yeah, me too.
Puppy/ Oh, grow up! Ignatious O'/ Are you the brother of Ignatious VI? Raindrops Make Things More Beautiful/ So that's what has been falling on my shoulders! Mizippihippi/ For your next purchase, I recommend a good spelling dictionary. Mister Mod/ Meet Mister Fogie, my old man.
Humble Servant/ Considering what I am paying you, I know why you are so humble. Raspberry toast/ Can I have cream cheese on a bagel instead? One in Six Billion/ I am looking for my long-lost brother. Has anyone seen him? Looking for Truth/ Needs more batteries for her flashlight. illumination guy’s/ Looking for Truth needs your help.
Echoes from the Tomb/ Hello down there. Hello - hello - hello. Tryin' Not to Come Undone/ Need some help? She’s Come Undone/ Oops! So she has! Here, I’ll give her a hand.
Have you ever noticed the pet names that husbands, wives and lovers have for one another? A pet name, as you know, is a name that you give a person that replaces his or her original name. A pet name is a way of saying to that person that he or she is unique, special, and appreciated. Instead of asking, “Gladys, would you help me with this?”, her husband might ask, “Sweet buns, would you help me with this?”. Of course, pet names should be used with care. For instance, a wife should never call her husband “Precious” in front of his buddies. He would never be able to live it down.
Here is a list of some of the pet names I have either seen in print or heard used by spouses and lovers for one another:
Lambikins Pumpkin-poo Dumpling Spanky Mr. Bear-buns
Lovey-dovey Superman Love-mama Puddin’-cakes Babe
Babydoll Bullfrog Snuggle Bunny Sweetie Pie Face Cake Bunnykins
Pinky Bear Doodlebug Punkin Mommy Daddy
Did you find your pet names among those listed above? If not, would you please add them to the list in the comments section of my post, and tell us why you chose those pet names for your spouse or lover.
Many Blogstream members are there
already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant
gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"
If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
