Ten years ago today (May 14, 1998), 79 million people watched the “Seinfeld” finale. For the most part, Jerry Seinfeld has done very little work in the last ten years . When he was asked why he has done so little in those years, he gave us the quote of the week: “I’ll tell you what do I do: nothing….Well, let me tell you, doing nothing is not as easy as it looks…because the idea of doing anything, which could easily lead to doing something, would cut into your nothing, and that would force me to have to drop everything.” And there you have it - a true Seinfeldism.
Over the past few decades, television comedies have added quite a few catchphrases to our conversation. Jackie Gleason gave us “How sweet it is!” and Star Trek gave us “Beam me up, Scotty!” Now word has it that Sony Pictures Television (SPT) has spent upwards of $1 million for a set of 180 new episodic promo spots for the television comedy “Seinfeld”, now in its 12th season in syndication. Seinfeld is now in its third cycle of syndication. How did this comedy show become “master of its own domain” in the mass-popular culture of the United States?
For many viewers of the program Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer became real people involved in what some critics called “a show about nothing.” But the show was about something, or it would not have attracted so many viewers for so many years. But to anyone who loves words and appreciates good (and even bad) word play, Seinfeld was really a show about language. The absurd situations, the sight gags, and Kramer's entrances, exits, and pratfalls notwithstanding, the comedy and the commentary in Seinfeld was remarkably language-based. In fact, it's not a stretch to say that no other TV show before or since has been so self-consciously verbal. Seinfeldisms have become a part of our vernacular, e.g., "I dance like Elaine" or "That is very George of you." Who doesn’t know the meaning of “Yada Yada Yada” or a phrase like “No soup for you!”?
Here are some favorite Seinfeld lines gathered from the Washington Post:
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
"I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in." - Jerry
All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect the horses to do, anyway?
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a Danish!"
"You want to know why you can't go in front first? I'll tell you why. Because it signals a breakdown in the social order. Chaos. It reduces us to jungle law." - Newman (on cutting in line)
Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddie seats and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say, "And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!" I think not.
I think one of the funniest scenes in Seinfeld involved Elaine who, after doing the Big Deed in the restroom, discovered that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Her attempts to solve the problem resulted in a lot of belly laughs for the viewers.
Another satire on the times was in the following scene: Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer, have a layover in a small New England town. They witness a robbery in broad daylight. The robber has his hand in his pocket, and the victim shouts that the man has a gun. As soon as the robber runs away, a policeman appears on the scene; but instead of pursuing the robber, he arrests Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer for having violated the new "Good Samaritan" law of the town. Since the four of them spent the time of the robbery making fun of the victim, who was fat, their role in the matter doesn't look good, and at their trial everyone who has ever felt wronged by them in the course of the television series testifies against them. They are convicted.
I can’t recall all the details, but in another episode Kramer, substituting for a friend, feeds a horse a large can of beans he got at Costco before taking a couple on a carriage ride. The resulting flatulence and its effect on the couple and Kramer are hilarious.
For the 180 scripts of the original Seinfeld shows aired on television, go to http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/
Do you have any favorite episodes, scenes, or Seinfeldisms that you would like to relate to us? Tell us about them and explain why you think they are so funny.
Do you snore? How do you know? Do you sometimes wake yourself up, or do other individuals let you know? Snoring is the act of breathing in and out through the open mouth in a manner that causes a vibration of the uvula and the soft palate. This vibration gives off a sound that may vary from a soft noise to a loud and unpleasant sound.
It has been said that love is blind. Unfortunately, in too many instances, it is not deaf. Nearly 50 million U.S. households are affected by snoring, sometimes even leading to the breakup of a marriage. Many jokes have been made about snoring, but for those individuals who must endure it night after night, it is no laughing matter.
People snore in many different ways. Some famous writers have included snoring in their stories. Among them is Mark Twain in “Tom Sawyer Abroad,” who described how Jim snored - “soft and blubbery at first, then a long rasp, then a stronger one, then a half-dozen horrible ones like the last water sucking down the plug-hole of a bathtub, then the same with more power to it, and some big coughs and snorts flung in, the way a cow does that is choking to death; and when the person has got to that point he is at his level best, and can wake up a man that is in the next block with a dipperful of laudanum in him but can't wake himself up although all that awful noise of his ain't but three inches from his own ears...Now there was Jim alarming the whole Desert, and yanking the animals out, for miles and miles around, to see what in the nation was going on up there; there warn't nobody nor nothing that was as close to the noise as HE was, and yet he was the only cretur that wasn't disturbed by it.”
Some other people’s snores have been described as sounding like a lawnmower; sounding like a hippopotamus stuck in mud; sounding like a charging bull elephant; sounding like a whistling teakettle on a hot stove; sounding like a boar hog in mating season; and the list goes on and on.
Here are some of the sounds that people and pets make while snoring. These are all short video clips, and it is not necessary to watch the entire clip, unless desired.
Video 1. Here is a man snoring like a wild animal.
Video 2. Here is a woman whose snoring might drive one from the bedroom.
Just recently, when I heard someone use the expression “I haven’t lost all my marbles yet,” it reminded me of a time in my life when marbles meant a great deal to me. When I was about ten years old, there were a lot of other boys about that age in our neighborhood; and almost all of them played marbles. We played marbles by finding a place on concrete or on a dirt surface where we would draw a large circle.
There was one boy in the neighborhood who was so skilled in playing marbles that he usually ended up with all the marbles of the other boys. I lost all my marbles more than once. When this boy invited me to his home and showed me all the marbles he had collected stored in about a dozen Ball canning jars, displaying them as though they were trophies, I truly envied him.
This morning, I read in the local newspaper that a veteran of the Vietnam War is attempting to promote a revival of the game of marbles in the San Diego area. In an age when young boys are hooked on video games, the game of marbles might seem a bit tame; but if that veteran could get them out of their houses into the sunshine and dirt, he would be doing them a favor.
As a way of promoting interest in the game of marbles, this veteran is promoting a series of tournaments that would culminate in a championship game to be held at the San Diego County Fair in July. So far, so good. Then I read that the players will not be playing outside in the sunshine and dirt; they will be playing inside on a tabletop felt-lined ring.
Video 1. Marble King Paden City WV., where marbles are manufactured. A profile of a place where some of the bad kids used to sneak into the parking lot and steal marbles.
Video 2 (For marble enthusiasts only). This is a magnificent collection of antique handmade glass marbles made in Germany around 1850-1910. They truly are works of art.
This Weekend's Featured Film: High Maintenance. A wife decides to hit the kill switch on her loveless marriage.
Admission: Children Under 12 - 25 cents / Adults - 45 cents Popcorn: Small - 5 cents/ Medium 10 cents/ Large 15 cents Soft Drinks: Small - 5 cents/ Medium 10 cents/ Large 15 cents
Within a few years, as baby boomers age, the number of elderly citizens will be greater than the number of younger individuals to care for them. In an attempt to fill this gap, therapeutic companion robots (androids) will be designed to aid the elderly in nursing homes. Since these androids will be virtually indistinguishable from humans, it is expected that humans eventually will form an emotional bond with them.
"At the 2005 World Exposition in Japan's Aichi prefecture, robots from laboratories throughout the country were on display. The humanoids came in all shapes and sizes: they moved on wheels, walked on two legs, looked like lovable little dolls or fantastic mechanical warriors. All, however, were instantly recognizable as artificial creations. Except one: it had moist lips, glossy hair and vivid eyes that blinked slowly. Seated on a stool with hands folded primly on its lap, it wore a bright pink blazer and gray slacks. For a mesmerizing few seconds from several meters away, Repliee Q1expo was virtually indistinguishable from an ordinary woman in her 30s. In fact, it was a copy of one." (Excerpt from Scientific American. April, 2006)
Today's Cartoon. Tom and Jerry. Adventures in the fast lanes, as Tom chases Jerry through a bowling alley. Fun and exciting as bowling ought to be.
Today's Serial: Zorro Rides Again - Serial Trailer
The radiance of your loveliness Is such that if I Like a god of old Could take a primeval sun Rend it into a billion pieces And fling them across the evening sky
Still your beauty would dim all the rest Of the jewels in Night’s dark tresses And I would know you and love you Until the dawn hinted of your leaving And another star, brighter still, Ruled the day lit sky
Video 1. What is Love? Written and read by Stelaing of the United Kingdom. His voice reminds me of that of Alfred Hitchcock.
What is Love? This is the text of the poem written and read by Stelaing in this video.
What is Love?
Why does it scare some But is needed by others? And why is the love from a partner Different than the love from a mother? Can we just change our minds? Start to love another.
What is love? How does it start? Does it come through our toes? Or go straight to our heart? And why does it feel stronger When we are apart?
Why does love make us happy? But without it we feel free. And when we have it inside It changes how we see. Is it better to go and get it, Or wait for it to come to me?
Why does love hurt When it is not loved back? When your heart breaks Love stays intact. I wonder if scientists can make it? Get two chemicals that react.
What is love? We all know the feeling. It seems to go to everyone Sometimes staying, sometimes leaving. I find it hard to describe But Wikipedia gives the meaning!
Many Blogstream members are there
already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant
gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"
If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
